What a fucking rush....

Well I must stay I had expected things to go much differently than I had planned but they went COMPLETELY as planned!

The mom came and picked up the cubs and off they went for their sleep over. E finished a few things he had to do and I got a shower before we left. When we get in the car I lean over and whisper in his ear that I am not wearing anything at all underneath my dress. We did some birthday shopping for our youngest one and then off to our favorite restaurant for some awesome, delicious food. I had a glass of wine to help calm my nerves, I was racing inside! We did a little more shopping but mostly walking around the store in order to settle our tummies.

So we get in the car and he ask where to now...??? I share that I was wanting to take a drive up on the Blue Ridge Parkway and he says that sounds like a good thing to do. So off we go.

The drive is breath taking as it always is for me. I am actually fine now, no racing inside. I am wearing this long sexy dress and sitting in the car I have it all the way up to midway of my thighs...I lean over from time to time to kiss him. We stop in the area known as Graveyard Fields to let another car pass us and he ask how much farther...the very next overlook.

We pull in and he ask "now what". I say I want to get out and go on the hiking trail and he comments how I am not dressed for hiking. I want to go anyway. So we head off down the trail. The air is cool as it is at such elevation. We come to an overlook of sorts off the trail and the view is amazing!!! I felt as though we were the only 2 people on the planet. There was a good size rock that I sat on to look out, with a small section of mountain in front and then a sheer drop-off. I wanted for him to come around in front of me pull up my dress and stick his cock in me and fuck me right there; yet I knew he would not because of the fact that the ground was wet and we were so close to the drop off. Safety!!!

So we are walking back to the car and I stop here and there along the way and kiss him. When we got back to the car he goes to buckle up and I tell him no way no need to do that and he looks at me. I am up on my knees in the seat and lean over him and kiss him passionately then suggest to him to lay the seat back a little. As he starts to ask why I have already undone his belt, undone the button and had started to unzip his shorts when I think he realized what I was going to do!!!

Once I had his shorts unzipped and went for his cock, Oh My! What do we have here and nice surprise for me! His cock is hard as a rock! OMG! To what do I owe this honor. I go down on him and do not come up for 10 min. Fuck he is HARD!

All done.

He looked at me with this look of "you fucking tease"!!! "Yes I am a tease and you know it!"

I stopped just in time as a large van comes around the corner!!!

We were not able to actually fuck because we took the car which does not have tinted windows and he was not comfortable completely with having sex right there in broad daylight and no tinted windows. I was fine with that because I respect his comfort level. He did share that we would come back up soon and it would be in the van which has tinted windows and take it farther!!!

Home alone and a surprise for E

Tonight the cubs will be sleeping over at a friends house.

E and I will have the whole house to ourselves!! So naturally my mind has been coming up with all sorts of scenarios that we could play/act out...of course there is always lots of foreplay for us when this situation occurs. It is mind blowing...

and

...if I play my my cards just right there is a big possibility that I/we will go "parking" for the very first time! OMG! Yes it's true I have never done it in a vehicle before...


Wish me luck!?

Any advice on something mind blowing I could do to E?

What was that?!?!

Finally after waiting ever so patiently for 4 days/nights my E took me to the bedroom.

He/we fucked and made love. We fucked. It was amazing! It was intense! We made love. It too was intense!

YES!

I am trying to remember the intimate details and feelings of the night. I am still trying to process it all. Was not expecting what happened last night to happen.

He fingered me and played with my clit in a way he never has before all while kissing me. Moving to my neck and found the spot that is one of my "weak" spots and melts me. Laying partially across me at the waist as though to pin me down, he reaches over and takes hold of my free hand placing it into his hand that is up above my head. I can not move it! He has me pinned! No way out. He takes his other hand and runs his fingers, just barely touching my skin, up the underside of my arm up to my hand. Then back down. OMG! The feeling is both that of a tickle and heighten excitement.

He worshipped my breast with such passion.

This is when things get interesting...

E spent quit sometime eating, tasting and devouring my wet, juicy pussy and when he came up to lay for a second I went over to eat his cock only to discover he was ROCK HARD. Oh so delicious too. "Eat my dick, Oh god that feels so good. That's right eat him." So I am eating him and he grabs hold of my head with his hands and starts fucking my face ( I believe this is how one phrases it/when a man takes his cock and pounds it into a womyn's mouth controlling the pace and and force).
Then he pushes my head down till his cock is all the way so far back in my mouth, it is almost down my throat! He holds it there and I start to gagging and still he holds my head down. Finally he lets go.

What the fuck was that!

It excited me. It intensified everything. I loved it!

I start eating him again, much more forcefull and he does it again, he grabs my head and forces his cock so far back into my mouth that I start to gag, not releasing me!

So I know there is a name for this. Anyone care to share and fill me in?!?! I want to know!

German's get me hot

These past several months I have been viewing a lot of videos of the sexual nature and this video I believe is one of my favorites.

*I LOVE the setting and location.

*I LOVE the accents and that they are speaking German. That is part of what gets me aroused is not knowing what the fuck they are saying.

*His shaved head! I could not take it watching this and not being able to touch his head.

*She was blonde. I do not want to get into that whole blonde/brunette thing but she should've had dark hair.

*Get some damn meat on them bones girl. You look like you are withering away. Certainly not a turn on.

*She is too tall.

*I love how he turns her around and dives right into her pussy and devours her in his mouth. Yummy! I got some pussy for you...

*I completely thought that when he was taking off her jacket that he was going to use it to keep her hands bound in it behind her back.

*About damn time he took off the shirt. And those shorts. Bare Naked! now.

*Fuck! I LOVE that tattoo. And so near to his head. Could use more though.

*I WANT that table. I want it! Damn...someone please get that table for me...thank you!

*His moaning/growl sounds he is making. A man who certainly does not shy from expressing himself. I love that, so erotic!

*The whole Dom thing going on. Could definitely be more intense!

*What a luscious pussy.

*Did I mention I want that table! Is no one listening to me? No one has gotten the table for me.

Lonely

Where is everyone?!?!?!?!

I am bored and lonely here...

Selene

Virginity and sex

Reading today on a blog and a comment was made regarding why someone was still a virgin at the age of 20something....in part to the fact that they were shy and other by choice. That they had had many offers for sex but these offers were from womyn who did not respect him.

Reading this comment really hit home and I started doing some serious thinking. For so long the main reason I have been passing along as to why I was 19 when I lost my virginity, my E was my first and the only man I have ever been with was because of the way I was brought up and things I was made to believe about sex. I have posted about this already so I am not going to waste time discussing it again.

There is another truth to why I was a virgin till 19 and have only been with one man...growing up I was always shy and quiet; unless I was with my little close nit group of friends. Some of them were having sex and respected those who were not. I did have many offers sex and I lost count as to how many of my boyfriends wanted to have sex with me but I would not allow it. There was no respect in those relationships, any of those relationships. Some guys even being right up front about the only reason why they were dating me was to get sex and if I was not going to give it up then they were going to find some other girl.

I know that some relationships are based only on sex and that is what works for them. That was not what I wanted and it was not going to work for me. I wanted more. I was needing to be loved and to feel loved. From lack of love and intimacy my whole life in ways not sexual.

E came back into my life and I knew instantly that all was going to change. I felt loved by him. I was loved by him. Respected! It was over in 2 months of dating...I willingly gave myself and he had me!

Tell me what do you see

Transformation and what I want...

Transformation of my sexuality.

Transformation.

My sexuality.

My desires.

My wants.

My wants. What do I want?

I want to reliquish all control and for him to dom me....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This year for me has been a dedication to self-discovery on many different levels. Learning who I am as a womyn unto herself, outside of being wife and mother. In the outside world and to others who see me I am a dom. I am in complete control of the ins and outs of what goes on in this house. From raising the kids, cleaning house, running errends, grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking~I control it all.

In the bedroom I want to reliquish ALL that control. For him to do with me what he wants and desires with no walls or barriers to stop him, to stop us. I feel extremely safe with E. I have complete and total trust in him in the bedroom-sex.

He says "YES"

After our experience together last night I could wait not longer.

I have to talk with him about D/s.

So after the cubs are in bed and sleeping soundly we begin.

I have been waiting for this moment it seems like an eternity.

Sitting together face to face I go to start but the words don't seem to want to come out. He can tell I am nervous. He says something funny to "break the ice" and I am laughing but have no memory of what he said.

"Thank you so much for last night. It was incredible! You have no idea. You have no idea how intense it was for me. I LOVED it!" I say.

"Really?!?! Good I am glad!"

So our conversation continues on for 30 minutes or so discussing D/s and how I want us to continue this exploration.

He is very open about this new journey together in our sex life. I know it even excites him that I am enjoying. Shared with him how I was comfortable with how intense things were in bed and willing for it to go farther however before we took things to the next step that I needed to create/have a safe word. This safe word would be for me to use if and when things got to a point that I was hurting in a way that I was not comfortable with.

Side note: I shared with him that I was making the reservations for the hotel for our night to celebrate our anniversary and a special gift for him but beyond that the rest of the time was in his hands. He has a month and a half to come up with a plan. I leave it all in his hands. To think about any fantasies he has had about us and wanting to do, this night was free game.

My Unexpected Surprise

He walks in the door quietly, laptop and books in tow to the sight of me laying out on the couch with my legs spread and me caressing my clit. He sets all his things down on the table and returns to deliver his end of the day kiss and hug.

"what movie are you watching?" he ask.

"Premonition. But who says I am watching it...."

"Oh" he replies.

He ventures to the kitchen looking in the frig for something to drink. Oh shit! I forgot to cut up the watermelon and bring with dinner when I brought his dinner out to him at school.

"Sorry sweetie. I forgot to bring the watermelon. I am such a bad girl am I not?!"

"Yes you are. Guess I'll just have to spank you for forgetting."

He kindly suggest that that I spend a few more minutes watching the movie while he unwinds and checks his e-mail. I don't want to watch the fucking movie...he promised me last night to make it up to me for not fucking me last night! I stare at him with puppy eyes.

He comes over and takes my hand and says "Let's go to bed" as he leads me to our bedroom.

Walking into the room behind him I am expecting to be tossed on the bed like a ragdoll but instead he sighs and gets comfy for bed. I lay next to him running my fingernails ever so lightly down his arm and continue down his leg. Then I rub his cock thru his boxers teasing while pressing my body up against his eagerly waiting and wanting.

"This is so unfair! I am having to work too much for this!" I protest as I roll over and begin to pout...

He rolls over. "Work too hard for what?" He ask..."Sex" I say.

"Oh. Your wanting sex."

"Yes."

"What? I did not hear you."

"Sex, Sir"

"That's right, that's what I thought." as he smacks his hand across my ass.

Oh shit! Fuck! Sure as hell was not expecting that. "You have been a bad girl today." and smacks my cheeks again. again.

"You know what I am going to do to you?"
"What?"
"What was that?"
"What, Sir"

"OK. I am going to eat you, finger you and do whatever else I want to do till you come and you are not going to do a thing to stop me. Because if you do I am going to spank you again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Sir" I am able to speak out as he is already down on me eating away as though ravishly starving from lack of food.

Eating. Licking. Sucking. Shit the sucking is too intense. Damn he has to stop. I go to push his head away and he catches my movement and ask what I am doing..."Nothing Sir".

On and on he never lets up. OMG! My thighs begin to quiver and shake as I cum for what seems like minutes. No sooner that I stop and he flips me over on top and tells me to fuck his dick and DO NOT stop till he comes!

He moans and crys out as he cums, cum spraying everywhere.

What an unexpected surprise! I knew surely we were not going to have sex because this is his late, late night class. If we did have sex then it would be our passionate quiet night of lovemaking that we have not done in awhile. But the second that first smack landed across my ass I knew he had other plans.

Our journey begins

I have had a very hard time trying to put into words the wording for this post so please bare with me as I try....

I was struggling and becoming quite frustrated trying to figure out how to begin conversation with my E about what I was needing and wanting in and from our relationship in an "intimate~sexual" way. So afraid of rejection.

Spent part of a day reading various post on TBK when I found on Ask The Slut section a question that had been asked that was very similar to my situation. The first suggestion of where to start from, fromThe Slut, was the fetish checklist. It made perfect sense.

So I copied the list and pasted it to word document. Broke up the list into it's section with each section having it's on page. I was going to have to "break" this list up and present it to E a piece at a time as to not overwhelm him.

Printed a copy of the first page. Wrote a note:

September 2, 20008

My Dearest E,

Do you remember our conversation at the school while walking and "Ty" (name has been changed for privacy reasons) rode his bike?....

"Are you interested/willing in exploring more in and for our sexual relationship/sexuality?"

Your reply. "Yes"

I am overjoyed and excited you are willing and interested in exploring more with me/us!

I shared that we would begin this exploration in small pieces so we can begin to learn and explore what each of us are comfortable with....

The door is opening.....

Door.....Instructions:

~Read the following.
~Fill out. Both sides.
~Return and talk over together.
~You have 3 days.

Selene

Well it took him 5 days to complete it. His excuse was that he is so busy with work and school/homework. I was hurt. Damnit I was mad!

I was going to show him what happens when you do not meet a deadline! I simply told him that he would not fuck me until he completed the list. (OMG! am I not being so Dom just then! but I am so submissive, what has gotten into me?!)

Well he got up that sunday morning at 4:30am, completed the list and woke me very delicately by licking my warm, wet pussy. I woke. He says he completed the list. I asked where it was. His reply "on the arm of the chair. Can I fuck you now?"

What to do....?

A dear friend had borrowed some money from me for something very important and promised to pay me back. I gladly gave the money and not expecting at all to be paid back (that's what friends are for).

Much to my surprise yesterday I was paid back the $40 borrowed. Thank you so kinndly.

Very much unexpected....now what do I use the $40 for.....????!!!!

The following I am in desperate need of:

1. appointment with my chiropractor.

2. appointment to get a massage.

3. purchase a dildo or vibrator.

YOU decide.

Year at a Glance for Leo 20008

excerpt:

Involved Leo, pay attention to how your body responds to time with a beloved. Are you healthier and steadier, do you share common daily rhythms? Are there ample cooperative, win-win situations with plenty of mutual support? Leo shines more than the sun itself when happy in love.
This year is the perfect year for a health makeover...Stay fierce and steadfast in your progress

We'Moon '08

Is She Becoming a Sex Addict?

I have so absolutely gone crazy! That is the only way I can describe it...

Spent 4 1/2 hrs this morning on the computer knowing full well I had a pile of housework to do (especially with me having been sick for 2 days)(think anyone in this house is going to do anything to help, Ha!). I was drawn in reading and exploring on subjects such as BDSM, D/s, Bondage, Bisexuality, Orgasms, Oral sex, etc.... Getting caught up on reading and commenting on Rapunzels Musings, The Beautiful Kind, The Beau Kind and No Need to be Coy

On No Need to be Coy she posted a list of wesites and blogs on Sex, Erotic Writings and Experiences, BDSM and Fetish, Sex Advice, Thoughts on Sex and Relationships and Sex News , Reviews and Interviews.....

Visiting so many sites and blogs. Watched many, many videos. I just could not get enound. Was filled with excitement, lust, longing, cravings and hunger. Not hunger for food but for sex! I wanted in the worse way for my E to walk thru the door and take me, bind me and fuck me till I finally submitted completely and willing to his control.

Sadly he did not/ could not so I tended to my own needs as best as I could with my hands and fingers. For godsake I came 4 seperate times! spread out over that 4 1/2 hours!.......One would think I would be satisfied enoung experiencing with such intensity but regrettably enough I am not.

:(

Tragicly I am sitting here all alone still while he is at school and all I want to do is have sex, fuck, be fucked, cry out in ecstacy and pleasure, to be worshipped for the Goddess I am as though nothing else mattered. I want to go out to a club with loud music and dancing lights and let go of all my inhibitions. To be free...to be free from myself and who I am and who I do not want to be right now at this moment.

Every Women

(found this on a blog....I thought it was very apropos for all of us be we maid, mother or crone.)

Every Woman
"I'm every woman
it's all in me"
~ Chaka Khan ~

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
one old love she can imagine going back to,
and one who reminds her how far she has come..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a youth she's content to leave behind..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who
lets her cry..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING
THE FRIENDSHIP..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
when to try harder.. and WHEN TO WALK AWAY..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
that her childhood may not have been perfect.. but
it is over..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
how to live alone.. even if she doesn't like it..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
where to go, be it to her best friend's kitchen table,
or a charming inn in the woods when her soul
needs soothing..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
what she can and can't accomplish in a day..
a month.. and a year..

EVERY WOMAN IS SPECIAL..
and she should embrace that..

I AM EVERY WOMAN..
and so are you!

Luv 'ya,
Emily

How far will he go?

I ask E if he was having some fun with the intensity of our sex life lately...

He says, "yes".

I ask him if he interested and willing to try some new things...

He says, "Yes". (with a smile of curiousity!)

"What do you have in mind?" he ask.

"You will see. We can explore together some too...."

I am sooo ready to spill over with excitement and share it all with him what I want to do and try but am afraid I will scare him away and think me a freek. On the other hand he may just be willing to go full throttle! Would that not be the best thing ever!?!

I wonder how far he will be willing to go?