My Unspoken Truth

Torn and wounded

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:28:00 +0000

My heart is torn and wounded....

I thought finally I had found her and she was the one after searching for so long.

I had fallen for her after the second night out. I wanted to kiss her and feel her touch. Then she shares with me that she feels a connection with me on a friendship level but does not seeing things going any farther between us because I am married...There would be no balance in our relationship because she is single and I am involved.

It makes sense to me and understand just does not make it any easier...

Can I just be friends? I want too but knowing my feelings for her its hard.

breaking up

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:51:00 +0000

why is breaking up so hard to do when you were never ever seeing each other?

random thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:01:00 +0000

friend

girl

girl friend

lover

Desire.

Passion.

Lust.

Craving.

Hunger.

Thoughts of her fill my mind that I can think of nothing else.
To feel her presence, the warmth of her touch, the passion of her kiss.

Tie me up
smack me
bite me
eat me
suck me
fuck me
grind me
love me
hate me
taste me
hold me

I am yours take me.

Come on womyn!

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:30:00 +0000

I could fucking scream right now! What the fuck is going on? Why am I only getting responses from womyn who are either this is their first expereince as well or I don't want my husband to know shit!!!!!

Womyn Womyn

Hello

I am looking for someone who is expereinced and is either single or their husbands don't care if they are with a womyn. I don't need or want this drama! Do not want any sneeking around, no way! Do not want to have to deal with someone elses childish games while being together. I want to be with a womyn.

I want a girlfriend to spend my "free" time with....

Looking for my own girlfriend....

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:54:00 +0000

The past 2 years has been a huge transformation for me with so much growth and self discovery, especially in my sexuality! So what does this have to do with me posting here on my blog? Well lots.

I am 36, happily married with 2 children yet I want something more in/with my life. I am looking for friendship and companionship with another womyn. Am wanting a girlfriend...

I am very Bi-curious and am wanting to feel to touch of another womyn. To be able to connect on a level that is not possible with a man. My husband knows all about what I am wanting and looking for and is fine with it. This is for me and he will not be involved in any way. Looking for friendship first and let it grow from there. This is not some casual thing for me.

Some about me: I am a lover of nature! Love living in the mountains! I love hiking, gardening, camping and going for walks. I enjoy festivals, hoola hooping, drumming, belly dancing and yoga. I believe and practice a holistice approach to life and health. I work with herbs, flower essences, etc... An animal lover. I love food especially chocolate! ( what womyn doesn't!) Do not like to cook though. Love to read. Enjoy watching movies. Snuggling on the couch or walking around downtown. My spirituality is very important to me, all I ask is that you be open-minded. I do not smoke and ask that you do not. I drink on very rare occasions and am fine if you drink just not heavily. I am drug and disease free, I ask that you be the same.

I would like to find a womyn who has experince in this. Who has patience, is kind, caring and understanding. Has similar interest but are your own person. Grounded. Centered in your own spirituality with an open mind and heart of anothers beliefs.

I am 36 yrs young, brown hair (mid back), blue-green eyes, 5 ft 2 in and average weight. I have the curves of a womyn yet am not overweight. I am looking for someone similar in proportion.

Please send photos of yourself in your reply AND include "Connecting with womynkind" in your title or I will consider it spam and delete.

Looking and Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:23:00 +0000

Finding things to keep myself busy.
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Checking e-mail seems on the hour.
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Holding my breathe while waiting to read her words.

I Wanna....

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:57:00 +0000

I am feeling it....

WANTED

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 22 May 2009 19:25:00 +0000

WANTED:

Farmhouse to rent.
4+ bedrooms, 1 bath on 4+ acres. Barn would be great but not necessary.
Also needs to have a fireplace(s), dishwasher, large kitchen,
A place to garden so we may grow as much of our food as possible.
MUST BE PET-FRIENDLY!!!!!

Our family is looking for a place to rent in the country with land for our 3 spirited horses and 5 happy-lucky go chickens. Also in our family is 1 happy, well-behaved dog and 2 spoiled cats. We are quiet folk who stay to ourselves, clean, hardworking and never late on our rent. Willing to do minor repairs with reduction in rent.

Location: preferably E. Asheville/E. Buncombe county as our children attend school in the area

Price range: $700-1300 monthly
References available upon request
Veteran of the Armed Forces

The P-Mate

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Thu, 21 May 2009 23:07:00 +0000

The P-Mate

"The P-Mate is a portable urinating device for women to urinate standing up. The P-Mate can be used during any activity where restroom facilities are less than desirable, or not available at all."

the unknown...

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:47:00 +0000

I do not know what the future holds for us and it saddens me so to say.

Things were going so well...

thought we were trying so hard.

It seemed to be working.

I thought things were getting better.

Hoping they were getting better.....

...for us.

All I have to say: FUCK YOU!

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:27:00 +0000

Part of me, no wait, most of me, wait, I do not know, I do not want to be here anymore. I do not want to be in this relationship, in this marriage anymore. I do not know why I continue to make excuses. I do not know why I put up with it all.....

I am a womyn~passionate, sensual, simple, kind and thoughtful putting all others needs and wants before mine. A simple, small thoughtful decision made for the one I love is the bases for the emotional battering I was delivered yesterday evening out of the blue.

FUCK YOU!

How much longer must I put up with and endure your anger, your verbal abuse?!

You say you love me.
You love me more than anything.
How can that be true?
How can you do to someone you love so much with such.....

I love him.

That's why.

Am I IN love with him?

The Alpha or the Omega?

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 11:20:00 +0000

Your result for The What type of wolf are you test...

The Omega Wolf

47% Social-ness, 16% Leadership, 0% Morbidity, 38% Lonliness, 56% Inferiority and 45% Beta-ness!

You are the Omega Wolf. You want to be part of the group, but you seem to find yourself at the bottom. You often get stuck with jobs no one else wants, and you want nothing more than the Alpha's approval.

Take The What type of wolf are you test at HelloQuizzy

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 11:19:00 +0000

Your result for Which Bee Would You Be Test...

The Sweat Bee

You are a gentle bee with little stinging power!

The Sweat Bee (common bee) is the least threatening of any bee! The sweat bee generally only stings when squashed or pressed against the skin and dies with its stinger in its vitctim. However, the sting is relatively painless.

Your sting is almost unnoticeable and described as light, ephemeral, almost fruity: like a tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm!

Take Which Bee Would You Be Test at

For you Rapunzel.....

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 09:57:00 +0000

" The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."

-Mother Teresa

Combining Two Lives

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:01:00 +0000

"I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan."

-Claire Cloninger

Understanding Love

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:58:00 +0000

"It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years?"

-Author Unknown

a painful reality

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:26:00 +0000

it has become a painful reality to me that all the things that i need, want and desire i will never get or experience. this realization came to me last night and i cried my soul out till there was nothing left within. he is never going to submit to giving me all that i want, that it is tearing me apart and i feel like i am left with nothing inside. driving home last night from my bellydancing class and seeing this man standing outside the club caught my eye and my heart that i went places i have never gone before all within a split second and i wanted more than anything to turn around and a feel his touch. seductive fantasies running wild inside my mind i can not breathe it is almost erotic.

where do i go? what do i do?

i feel myself pulling and turning away and feel so guilty for it. i love him and we have so much history....yet he does not fully satisfy me. i want more. i can taste it like a lion can taste the blood of a fresh kill miles away. day after day i am home alone in this house so lonely aching for human touch, passion, intimacy and desire yet day after day there is nothing. there is a void so empty.

will it ever be filled?

Oh So Heavenly

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:54:00 +0000

A gift from my Dearest Friend....

Triple Chocolate Almond

Oh So Heavenly!

Thank you......

Mom in Need, human needs

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 13:56:00 +0000

Mom in Need....

...who sick and in need of basic human needs:

Human touch and closeness.

Love.

Affection.

Nurturing.

Tending to.

Cared for.

Care for my home while I rest.

Care for my cubs so I can get better.

Feed me some good (allergen/sugar-free) food.

Make sure I am getting enough fluids to drink.

Curl up in bed and hold me.

Read to me.

Put in a good movie for me to watch when I can not sleep.

Run me a warm bath and bathe me.

Go to the health food store to get the herbs and homeopathic I need.

Why is it so hard to get the things that are so basic? My husband works all day and seems to be more devoted to his job than his wife! I asked him how he decides what he takes off from work for and what he doesn't...his reply was,

"we have already talked about this. If I take off to much it looks bad for me later down the road."

His heart is somewhat in the right place, still I feel abandoned. Alone. and no one fucking cares for me. I have spent my whole life caring for others and when I am in need there is no one there for me.

One of the millions of reasons why I need someone else in my life...

25 things about me

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 10:46:00 +0000

I hate having this blog because no one fucking reads it or makes comments. Probably because it is too boring for them....

Am really sending out all the positive I can possibly create to the highest possibility that BOTH my cubs can get into a charter school of either ArtSpace or Evergreen.

I really like my van. It is paid off and I own it. Just needs some cosmetic stuff and a re-built engine and it is good to go.

Starting herbal school Wednesday, March 25 @ 6pm. Am so excited I can not express in words my excitement!

I want my own fucking house with land so I can live my life and the rest of the world will/can leave me alone. (I am not a person who enjoys being OUT in the world)

Want some amazing, uninhibited, hot, passionate sex.

Hate to cook. LOVE food.

Want to take 1 1/2-2 years off from my life as I currently know/live it and travel the world, taking in as much of life as I can.

Want someone to take care of me and "wait on me hand and foot" for once.

Am polyamorous. (not patriarchy's version)

Love reading books with a passion just not enough time to.

Almost drown in the ocean when I was little.

Have a scar under my chin from when I fell on a concrete block when I was 3 yrs old.

Was afraid for the longest time that I would never be able to have children and got pregnant the first time we TRIED.

LOVE bellydancing.

Believe in past lives. (have been communicating with my past life this past year)

LOVE my cubs more than anything.

Want to know what is like to be touched, caressed and loved by another womoon.

Love to garden, the thought of growing my own food is powerful to me.

Wanting a three-some.

Enjoy coloring.

Miss being in high-school. Those were some of the best times of my life.

Am a military brat/spouse.

Enjoy photography.

Miss writng letters the "old fashion" way with pen and paper.

Stop fighting....

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 12:57:00 +0000

Stop fighting it, you know you want it!

( I am trying to push him away)

Stop fighting it, you know you want my hard dick!

(I try to fight him off)

Stop fighting it, you know you enjoy it!

( I finally stop and give in)

~he says and then pulls out saying...

"that is all I am giving you till tonight!"

FYI

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:50:00 +0000

Thirty-four facial muscles are used when you kiss.

(I wonder how many are used when sucking a hard dick?)

What did I do to deserve him

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:12:00 +0000

What did I do to deserve my husband?! I wish someone would tell me. After the events of last night I am sitting here feeling completely awful for ever wanting to leave him.

I was reminded last night why I married him. He is generous, kind caring, loving, supportive, open-minded, and thoughtful (of course some of these are dependant upon his mood). Supportive and open-mind are the ones that truly define him. Our marriage is not your "traditional" marriage....the man is the bread-winner, wife stays home barefoot and pregnant; having to ask his permission before really doing anything. Endymion and I are equal partners.

So to the point here....

One quiet morning the last week in December 2008, after having a most delicious breakfast at Cracker Barrel E and I were home alone, (cubs had spent the night at friends) obviously not fully satisfied hunger wise as we were eating of succulent body parts. I was on top riding his hard cock when he ask me what it was that I fantasized. What did I fantasize about when I was on top of him riding him.

What!

What the FUCK!?

I nearly stop cold riding his dick at the question he had just asked. WHAT?! Oh, I need to keep going, riding his cock, I can not forget what Iwas doing! He asked again and I quickly, in an effort to ignore the question, asked for my wand (hoping he would forget he asked methat question). He goes and gets my wand,comes back to pleasure me. It worked. He forgot.

I was scared to death of his question! He wanted to know what I fantasized about. What my desires were? Here had been my chance to finally share with him what I wanted and I chickened out. Why? Why was I so scared to tell the man I love, the man I have been married to for 13 years, the father of my children my fantasizes/desires.

Last night, too tired to have sex, we laid in bed snuggling and talking. I got quiet suddenly and Endymion ask what's on my mind. "why" I ask. " You got quiet suddenly." he says.

" I have something to tell you but I am scared to death to tell you"

"why?"

"You will either freak out and leave or think terribly of me and our marriage will never be the same."

(kissing me and saying) "I love you. I am not going anywhere."

(condensed version follows)

"First, before I tell you I need to share with you that I treasure our marriage. It means everything to me. That what I am about to share is in no way me trying to replace what we have but hopefuly is an extension of us and our marriage... "

"...to answer your question from the other morning about what I fantasize about, I fantasize about you and I having a three-some, MFF. You watching me with another womyn pleasuring each other, you getting off on it and then she and I move to pleasuring you. There would be rules in place before hand." How do you feel about this?"

"I am not freaked out by this. It is completely normal to have these fantasizes. I have always lived our marriage in the traditional fashion in some sense being completely satisfied living in our marriage the way it is. I have not really thought about things like that. Can I have some time to process it?"

(sigh of relief)

"Yes. This not something I want to happen this weekend or this month. Just consider the possibility of it happening."

"What is your other fantasy?"

" I want to have sexual experiences with a womyn. Want to know the warmth, feel and touch of a womyn. If I becomes friends with someone (womyn) and there is an attraction and we kiss and it leads or we want it to lead to something more..."

"This is not something that has already happened is it and this is your way of telling me by asking me?!"

"No. It is something I want though."

" I am fine with that." (just as casual and ordinary as anything he says this!)

?What? Did I just hear what I think I just heard?! He said I am fine with that?!?!? FUCK.

" You are?"

"Yes. If this is something that you want I am okay with it. I am not going to keep you from doing something you want and from what makes you happy."

"How do you feel about me actively looking for a friend where there is the possibility that it might happen? That it something she and I both are looking for?"

" I am fine with it."

"Do you want to know about it?"

"Yes. I just don't want to know all the details."

(Now I have left out a small detail here why sharing our conversation...and that is while I am sharing my 2 fantasizes he keeps pushing me down under the covers and down on his hard cock to eat him. He is fucking HARD! I ask him if he wants my pussy and next thing I know he is on top of me fucking and pounding me.)

Order of importance

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Number these in order of importance in your life

Love
Sex
Money
Chocolate

For me:

Love/Sex
Money
Chocolate

Who knew

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 12:00:00 +0000